Maddening the unsensible
by Azmaria3
Summary: The new Team 7. Smart, loud, strong, proud..and just plain disfunctional. But can a drunk Tsunade and a perverted Kakashi help?...not really. sasuxsakuxsai, naruxhina, kakaxicha?
1. bitchkun

**Disclaimer: to all things Naruto blah blah blah...**

**Chapter 1**

Bitch-kun

She sat on the edge of the bridge, long, pale legs slightly bent. The soft wind played with her shoulder-blade length pink hair as she read a small brown book resting on her knees. Her captivating sea-geeen eyes scanned back and forth, taking in all the information she could. Yes, it was a peacefull day in Konoha for Sakura Haruno. The beautiful kunoichi was so caught up in her novel, she failed to notice a pair of dark, onyx eyes memorizing her every feature.

There standing only 4 feet away from our medic-nin, was the last Uchiha. **(oooo! bet you didnt expect that huh! HUH!?) **His stotic face masked his unnerving annoyance and curiosity burning at the flesh in his stomach. Yes, our little ex-avenger was pissed to no ends. He had been standing in that exact spot for...an hour and fifty-two minutes...and his 'oh so loving, adoring, fangirl of a teamate' has not once acknowledged his existance. And the fact that someone else had been earlier than him, didnt help.

_'Hmm...wonder what shes reading..'_

But before he could finish that thought, all peace was destroyed. Birds squaked, babies cried, trees crumbled, Tsunade screamed 'more sake', Itachi twitched in his grave...yea you get the point. And all this mass destruction was caused by the one, the only, the...

"NARUTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

'Finaly.' Sasuke thought as he stared at a disgruntled Sakura. She obviously did not want to be disturbed.

"SAKURA-CHAN!!!" Naruto yelled as he ran slow motion, **(haha i had too)** towards Sakura with open arms that would soon grasp his target of affection in a tight embrace and..**BAM!**

Get his ass kicked.

Yea.

Like I said...peaceful.

"Oww! But Sakura-chan! I just.." Naruto began to whine as he rubbed the growing lump **(eww) **on the top of his very blonde head.

_'Could this day get any worse..'_ Sasuke sighed.

"Oi morning dickless. Ugly. Traitor." A young shinobi greeted as he approached the bridge.

_'...now...it cant get worse..'_ Growled the Uchiha...out loud.

"Hmm now I have another name for you to add to my list." Sai started.

Sasuke glared.

"Well theres Traitor, Emo, Homo, and now i will call you...bitch-kun." Sai stated, obviously proud of himself.

An unaturally large vein popped on Sasukes temple. The 'pop' was so loud it forced Sakura out of her book...again. (she got bored over all the fighting and went back to reading while Naruto was thinking up his own name for Sasuke instead of the over used 'teme'.)

Sasuke took out a kunai and ran towards Sai with killing intent. His kunai was six inches away from the artists neck when he suddenly found himself...in a (now) cracked tree?

_'WTF?'_ Was all he thought when he looked up at the spot he had been only a few seconds ago.

He regretted it.

His dark eyes met green ones. _'Shit'._

"If you idiots havent noticed...IM TRYING TO READ MY DAMN BOOK!! SO PLEASE SHUT THE HELL UP BEFORE I SHOVE IT SO FAR UP YOUR ASSES ILL BE READING FROM YOUR EARS!" Sakura screamed and then began to resume her spot on the edge of the bridge.

No one moved a muscle. Naruto was cowering behind Sai who, claiming to be emotionless, was visably scared shitless. And Sasuke...well he was still in the tree.

'_Poof!'_

Shit.

"Yo! Sorr..." Poor Kakashi began.

"YOUR LATE..." Sakura seethed. A black cloud surrounding her as she stood right infront of her ex-sensei. Poor Kakashi indeed.

"Well..umm...er...uhh..." Kakashi glanced at this teamates, fear screaming from his eyes...err...eye.

No one dared to help.

"Well you see...dayoffnotrainingbye!" _'poof!'_

"Oh..great!" Sakura cheered.

Everyone sweatdropped and sighed in relief.

"So Sakura-chan! Whatcha readin?!" Naruto asked, forgetting the entire event even happened.

"Hmm? ooh this? Its a book on emotions. Im reading it to help Sai." She glanced back at him. "And since Kakashi gave us the day off, I can try some off it." She finished and walked up to her new guinea pig stopping suddenly and began glancing around.

"Umm...Wheres Sasuke?" Sakura asked innocently.

_'Well starting at the begining you ignored my 'great Uchiha' presence for two hours then you fucking threw me into a fucking tree and threatend to probe me with that damn book of yours only to read it from another orifice located on my face!!!'_ **(mental breath)**

"Hn." He 'hned'.

Sakura smiled, "Well come on! Or are you too attatched to your tree over there?"

In a split second, Sasuke was infront of Sakura, his face an inch away from hers, glaring her to hell. And she just...smiled.

"Well lets go eat! How about ramen?" She said as she turned and walked off the bridge, leaving the sent of berries in her wake.

"RAMEN!!" yelled Naruto throwing his fists in the air, with Sakura and Sai following his lead.

"Whatever.." Sasuke grunted as he began to tread his teams path.

Yep..This was Team 7.

Smart

Loud

Strong

and Proud.

Never meant to be,

But worked so perfectly.

**Ok i know..no cliffie or anything but this is a story not a oneshot. And i will try to update more than my other stories that i have neglected. Well review and ill update maybe next week!**


	2. Emotions 101

**Piss-claimer...er..Disclaimer...yea...to naruto and all things naruto...do i really have to put this for every fuckin chappie????? i COULD be looking up the correct way to spell spar in past tense but NO! IM WRITING A FUCKIN DISCLAIMER!...Enjoy the chapp!**

**Chapter 2**

Emotions 101

After an hour of eating ramen at Ichikaru's, Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke and Sai decided to go back to the training grounds to spar. Well Naruto and Sasuke sparred **(spared/sparred/sprrrd whatever you want)**, while Sakura and Sai would undergo 'Emotions 101.'

Once the two finished their match..(Sasuke won ofcourse)...they joined the others under a large tree. But what they saw was...wierd?

A smirking Sai.

And...

A blushing Sakura?

WTF? **(FTW?)**

"Sakura-chan? Are you feeling alright??!" Naruto asked sympathetically. When Sakura didnt answer, he redirected his gaze to glare at none other than..Sai. "What the hell did you do to Sakura-chan you bastard?!?!??!" He screached.

Sasuke also seemed curious as to the strange behavior. He didnt even smack Naruto for his outburst.

"Ugh...shut up dickless. Even the thought of you opening your mouth burns my ears." Sai said in mock annoyance. "And I didnt do anything. If you want to blame someone blame the author of that book. He said that the strongest emotion in humans is love and affection, and since 'love' is a very complext emotion, we decided to start on affection." He stated.

Naruto had lost track right after about...when Sai began. And Sasuke knew where this was going and his usual stotic face was seeping with rage.

"What type of...affection?" Sasuke asked, warningly.

"Well..the easiest way seemed to be..." Sai began.

**(fucking) **"Hugging." He finished.

Jaws dropped.

"YOU TOUCHED MY POOR SAKURA-CHAN!!!!!!! BASTARD ILL NEVER FORGIV_**BONK!!**_"

Naruto was on the ground in an awkward position with a rather LARGE bump on his head.

"Naruto! Why do you have to make so much noise?!" Sakura scolded. She glanced at Sai for a second and a slight blush appeared on her pale cheeks. Sasuke glared.

"And Sai...uhmm..warn me...next time.." she fumbled nervously.

Sai blinked then smirked. "Next time hmm? Is that the female way of saying 'I want more'?" He paused when he sensed raging chakra comming from Bitch-kun. He smirked again. "Because I would love to repeat that lesson and.._move on_ _to a higher display of affection_." he said huskily **(its a word now! eff u spell check!)**

Sakuras eyes widened a bit and her cheek color intensified. She snapped out of it when she heard a crack.

Sasukes fists were balled up **(wait...arnt fists already balled up? so should i say/type 'sasukes hands were balled up'?...na! that sounds shity!)** and was ready to try his second attempt at murduring Sai.

"Is there a problem, Bitch-kun?" Sai simply asked.

"KAKA-SENSEI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Everyone fell over. **(even me..)**

"uhhhhhh...yo?"

"Yes Kakashi?" Sakura asked breaking the tension.

Kakashis eye shifted from one nin to the other. _Sigh..._"We have a mission." He stopped to make sure he had everyones attention...which he did.

"We are to escort a man named Kai to The Valley Between Heaven and Earth. Its an S-ranked escourt. This young man is the heir to the sacred land where the secrets of Heaven and Earth are kept. This land would also be known as the capital of the most powerful country in the world. I dont have to tell you that this is important and messing up is not an option...Naruto..." Naruto crossed his arms and stuck his nose up in the air. "Good. Well the journey will be a long one. The way there will be hot, but once we reach our destination it will be below freezing. We meet at the north gate at 6 a.m. Later!" _'poof'_

"We are prepared for the hunt, Mother." A young girl bowed. She raised her head, long blood red hair parted revealing her soft, pale face and icy blue eyes.

"Very good, my child. Finaly, they will see what we are capable of, my children!" A voice yelled from the shadows. "Now raise your heads and show those who oppose Mother what you can do!!"

"RAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"**(hahahahaha yea...rahh! hahaha idk...)** the children screamed and went on their way.

'Mother' smiled as she watched her 'children' leave. She held up a silver locket and opened it, revealing a picture of a 5 year old girl.

"I wonder how you are...do you remember?...will you remember once you return?..what you are...what you will become...my dear...my.."

"...Sakura..." **(gasp!)**

**yeah...crappy ending but i didnt know what else to put..**

**so..**

**whos mother?**

**what is sakura?**

**who are the bastards..ehem...children?**

**what will HAPPEN???**

**not even i know...im making this shit up as i go along...**


	3. Past life reunion

**Chapter 3**

Past life reunion

Sakura sat on her twin sized bed. She touched the long silver chain around her neck. **(ooo sound familiar!!!!!!!!) **She had that dream again. But unlike other dreams, she could remember every detail, like it was more than a dream...more like...a memory...

"Pshh yea right Sakura!" She said to herself. "Guys like that only exist in dreams..."

Sakura got up and walked into her small bathroom to take a shower. it was 4:30 am so she had alot of time.

She got out, got dressed, **(shippuden outfit for all exept for sasuke..im not for the man-bow thing so hes wearing that black outfit before he betrayed konoha, left sakura on a bench, almost killed naruto...blah blah blah)** grabbed her bag and walked through the door and down the stairs to the kitchen.

"Ohayo Sakura-san! how are you this morning?" Her mother greeted. Sakura hated the way her mother called her Sakura-san. She sounded like she was greeting a queen than her own daughter. She was also overly nice to her and never scolded her for anything. But she was her mother so Sakura just got use to it.

"Im fine Okaa-san. Why are you up so early?" Sakura asked while she sat down to eat the meal her mother prepared her.

"Ohh well you told me that you had a mission so i wanted to make you something. Do you like it? Its not too hot or anything is it? I can make something else if you wish!" She began to pick up her plate before she had the chance to look at it.

"No it looks great. Dont worry its fine." Sakura said. This is how it always was.

"Well if you want something else just ask. Do you need me to help you with your bags to the gate?" she began with her 'pleasing attack' again.

"Nouu ouwl behh fnnn, thhhunks." Sakura said through her food. Her mother giggled. Sakura looked up in confusion with her cheeks puffed up with food.

"Oh Im sorry Sakura-san!" _'grrr.' _"Its just..well..i will miss you when you leave..." Her mother finished with her head hung low.

_'is she...crying?'_

"I'll be back in a few months, okaa-san." Sakura reassurred.

Her mother looked up with teary blue eyes. "I know its just..."

She sighed. "Your going to be late, Sakura-san."

"hmm? OH!!! Crap im gonna be late! Bye okaa-san!" she got up and kissed her mother on the cheek, grabbed her bag and ran out the door.

"Im sorry...Sakura...sama..."

Sakura leaped from roof to roof. 5:27 am.

_'late? but im half an hour early.'_ she thought.

She jumped down from a small building only to collide with something.

And that something went '_oof!'_

That something was staring at her with hate. But quickly turned to embarassment.

"Oww oww oww..." Sakura mumbled while rubbing her head.

"...Sakura..."

"Hmm? Oh! Good morning Sasuke!" Sakura said happily.

"...morning...get off." Sasuke said. This whole thing was making him nervous.

"Huh? Oh crap! Sorry!" She yelped when she realised the possition they were in and quikly got up.

"Cough." A voice...said?

Sasuke sat up and glared at their guest. '_did he just say..cough?'_

"I thought I read somewhere that the act of reproduction, sex, was done in private on a bed in ones home?" Sai thought out loud.

Sasuke and Sakura stared, Both faces were burning red.

"Hmm...must have been a typo..." He concluded and began to walk ahead.

"..."

"..."

Awkward...

The rest of the walk to the north gate was silent.

Silence. Silence Sile..."OHAYO SAKURA-CHAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Sakura was too focused on other _things _that she was unable to avoid Narutos bone-crushing hug.

"W-wha???" she gasped.

"Yeay! Sakura-chan let me hug her! wooooooooooo!" he exclaimed.

"Oi! Dumbass! Your killing her." Sai informed.

"What? Oh! Sorry Sakura-chan! Heh hehhh..." Naruto said scratching the back of his head.

"Naruto you baka!!!" she screamed.

'_poof_'' "Morning."

"I hate my team..." Sakura seethed.

"Oooookaaayy...anyway! This is the one we are escor...wherd he go?" Kakashi looked around.

"Umm...Ka..kashi-sa..san..K-kai-s..san is over t..there.." A girl with waist length dark blue hair pointed to a small clearing.

"HINATA-CHAN!" Naruto yelled and as he ran up to hug the hyuuga heiress.

_"Naruto-kun's...hugging me!'_ she thought as she passed out.

"Why does she always do that?" Naruto said while picking her up bridal style.

"Well leaving the obvious to the oblivious, lets go meet our client." said Kakashi.

They all walked up to the clearing Hinata pointed to. Laying in the middle of the small field was a boy only a few years older than them (minus kakashi) wearing long, slightly baggy black pants with a black mid-length sleeved jacket. He had spikey white hair and his skin was tanned. He looked like he was sleeping with his arms folded behind his head.

"YO! Client! Wake up we gotta...ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME YOU BAKA!!!" Naruto yelled. Being called a 'baka' seemed to wake him from his 'sleep' as for Hinatas. He opened an eye to glare at the yellow banshee, sighed, and got up from his spot. He continued to glare at Naruto who had put the now awake Hinata down, walked up to him and was standing only a foot away.

"I think you need to get your ears checked! I said: 'we gotta go now'." Naruto said, still yelling.

Kai just continued to glare at the annoying creature when Kakashi interupted.

"He's right in a loud sense. We should get going. Oh and this loud annoying one is Naruto Uzumaki. The girl he was carrying is Hinata Hyuuga. She's usually not on our team but her skills are needed. The one smiling at nothing is Sai. Yeah just Sai...Sasuke Uchiha is the brooding one next to him." Kakashi introduced

Kai just looked at everyone with no interest. They all looked...stupid. That is, until he saw pink behind the one called Sasuke who looked slightly confused.

"Who is she." Kai demanded.

"Oh the one hiding? Thats Sakura Haruno... Why are you hiding??" Kakashi tilted his head.

Sakura sighed defeated and walked out from behind Sasuke.

"Ohayo Kai-san..." she said looking down.

Kai walked up to her, placed his hand under her chin and lifted her head only to see closed eyes.

"Open." He demanded once again.

Sakura obliged, slowly opening her eyes. Her jade eyes met his stone grey eyes. Sakura couldnt bring herself to pull away when his finger brushed her lower lip. He seemed to be comming closer.

A moment before their faces connected, Kai was roughly thrown to the other side of the clearing. Sakura stood there shocked as she faced the Uchiha Symbol surrounded by black.

"S..Sasu..ke?" Sakura studdered. But before she could ask what happened, he was gone.

Sasuke reappeared clutching the collar of a pissed of Kai. "What the hell do you think you were doing?" Sasuke growled, sharingan flashing.

"Sasuke...please dont kill the client." Kakashi said calmly. He wasnt happy about the boys actions either but they did have a mission. Naruto was next to him with a colorful string of words being held back by Hinata. Sai didnt know how to feel so he just smiled.

Sasuke released his prey dropping him to the ground, and walked away towards the gate, grabbing Sakuras upper arm on the way. He grunted when he saw her look back. "Stay away from him." He ordered.

"I...dont think i...can..."Sakura admitted quietly.

He stopped, still grasping her arm, and glared at her.

She looked at the stone ground. "I..."

"What." Sasuke demanded. Sakura flinched.

"I think...I think I know him...I think..." She paused trying to find the words.

"I think I...loved him..." She finished barely above a whisper.

Sasuke was at a loss for words. And for some reason, hearing her words, stung.

"And if what i think is true...I think...I...killed him..."

**ooooo! confusing!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and it gets worse! dont worry part of the killing thing is explained next chapter.**


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